In the backs of most people's minds
I suspect that their image of God
is like my image of my next door neighbors
Steve & Traci
They''re kind and generous people
who love their kids
and have always been wonderful to me
Sometimes we talk over our shared fence
and I often think of inviting them over for drinks
or barbeques
and expect that one of these days
I will
But God
must not be like a neighbor
God must be like a rock star
like Bono
or Bowie
If I ever somehow managed to get their home phone numbers
I'm sure they''d be like,
"How'd you get this number?"
and
"You're going to have to speak to my manager."
No one could ever just walk up to God in a restaurant
or a grocery store
and say,
"Hi. How've you been? How about them Dodgers?"
Because God is much more like a rock star
or Dick Clark
than like my next door neighbors
But most people don't understand that
An old friend of mine
left town for good the other day
because that’s what people do in this place
She
rode off into the sunset yesterday
tho I've known her for so long
but schedules and responsibilities
and the subtle way that they turn days into years
just ate up the time in between ate up our whole lives
But when I told her I'd miss her
she just smiled at me and said:
"And I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow..."
so that it still rings like silver bells through my head
Still rings, even now
It only happens
when the lighting is just right
and when that moment of supreme conflict comes
I can actually see the clear surface of my own eyes
And
then every heartbeat
is a frame
viewed through the organic lense
of me
of a film
in stop-motion
animation
And
then I think of you
and what I’ve given up
and what I’ve lost
and believe me, if these eyes could cry
they would
but instead they retch
with dry heaves
twisting me, an old washcloth
laid gently on a fevered face